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The Misguided Pursuit of Work-Life Balance

This article was first written in about 2016. I’ve given it a style makeover and tried to better articulate my thinking, which is always a challenge!


It’s interesting to read my ‘opinions’ from about eight years ago to see if they’ve changed or evolved. On the issue of balance, particularly ‘work-life’ balance, nothing has changed other than gaining eight more years of real-world experience.


Let’s go…


‘You need to be more balanced, Mark!’


The idea of balance is widely promoted as an ideal condition. I’ve heard this well-meaning ‘balance’ advice my entire career - be it from family, friends, or colleagues. It’s present in books, YouTube videos, interviews, and blogs.


I also see it in a more specific setting in the workplace.


‘We promote work-life balance!’


I cringe whenever I see this line, even though it’s in some of the material published by our company. I don’t micromanage our team or enforce my contrarian views across all, so the ‘work-life balance’ line remains.


To be fair though, think about the opposite for a moment:


Do you ever see a recruitment ad boldly stating, ‘We do NOT promote work-life balance’?


Of course not.


But many people who had the terrifying opportunity to be interviewed by me over the last decade for a role in our support team would experience a conversation along the lines of…


Me: ‘Why do you want to work here?’


Candidate: ‘You offer work-life balance.’


Me: ‘Umm… Let’s talk about that and reset your expectations. You are unlikely to achieve that working in our team. Here’s why…’


Before you panic, it’s important to note that there are differences between our client roles and our support team roles that work directly with me and run the business.


The roles where I make that bold proclamation about a lack of work-life balance during interviews are for roles in our support team that run the business. NOT for client roles.


Ok, so now you are calm again, let me elaborate a bit…


In the early years of building our business, I kept waiting for the day when things would be stable, predictable, and people could clock out after a relatively stress-free day. They would go home, play with the dog, play with the kids, and if they didn’t have kids, they could spend time getting some.


That day never came.


In a growing business with clients all over the world and the complexity of hiring and retaining large numbers of people, it’s just going to be hard work. The daily stability I once envisioned doesn’t align with reality. Clients and staff mostly have a smooth experience, and the poor team running the show are immersed in chaos and drama!


However, just because I see work-life balance as mostly nonsense doesn’t necessarily make it so. It’s how I view things through the lens of my personal preferences in managing my life and career.


It’s a very personal and individual thing, and work-life balance in the well-known sense of the phrase may indeed be the optimal approach for you.


So, rather than following the consensus advice without much scrutiny, consider whether it truly fits you.


Some people thrive in that traditional sense of balance.


But for me and others who might be wired similarly, something else works better.


This leads to the idea of intensity management, which works differently from balance.


I only have two speeds: 100 and 0.


I don’t have a 50.


Would I like to have a 50? Absolutely. Life would be much easier!


But let me explain how I perceive work-life balance. The phrase ‘work-life balance’ suggests that work isn’t part of life. To me, work has always been an integral part of my life - often a big, interesting, and fulfilling part of my life.


The idea of ‘work’ as a weight on one end of a seesaw needing to be balanced by an equal amount of ‘life’ on the other side just never made sense to me.


This is where intensity management comes in as a more fitting approach for me. If, like me, you struggle with moderation, chasing balance day by day isn’t effective. It’s just frustrating.


Instead of balance, I focus on dialing my intensity up and down.


I already hear the protesting…


‘When were you ever in low-intensity mode, Mark?!’


It happens, ok. Trust me!


Sometimes a project or period of time demands my full attention, and when that happens, I’m working on it whenever I’m awake. At other times, my focus shifts, my intensity dials down, and work takes a back seat.


The trick is to know that this constant shifting is okay.


For me, and others wired like me it’s not about balancing every single day - it’s about finding a rhythm that works for you, over the long term. Some people thrive in high-intensity situations, and that’s fine as long as they build in time to recover.


Rather than forcing a rigid structure of daily balance, embrace the ebb and flow. Even if people around you think you are nuts. They are just worried about you. There will be periods of intense work followed by necessary rest, just like the seasons of growth and dormancy in nature.


But let’s not pretend this is easy.


Far from it.


The idea almost needs a warning label.


Burnout is a real risk if you try to maintain high output without rest.


But equally, mediocrity is a risk if you refuse to push hard when it’s needed most and just coast through life.


In a world that promotes work-life balance as the ideal, recognize that not everyone fits that mold. For some, the best approach is to embrace their natural tendencies - dialing up when necessary, dialing down when it’s time to rest, and finding a pattern that allows them to perform at their best without running into walls or burning out too often.


I’ve been working to this pattern of high/low intensity my entire career. But it’s hard to do. I mess it up and burn out too often. And I know some of my colleagues do the same. It’s a never-ending journey of learning about yourself and how you best work.


Discovering that mainstream thinking on a topic is sub-optimal for you, and embracing an alternative like intensity management, is like discovering a superpower.


If you can harness your superpower of mastering your personal ebb and flow, you will improve your output and general well-being over the long term.


I say again - if you only focus on one side of the ebb and flow, you are likely to be miserable and burn out. Ask me how I know this!


Just remember, these articles are only scratching the surface of many topics. The idea is to provoke you to think differently about things, and possibly sometimes, improve your life.


Good luck in your efforts to optimize your personal work style!



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